Friends – The Importance Of…

Nearly 7 years ago, I walked the halls of a Military Institute, and hanging on the wall of a particular stretch of corridor was a picture that would never fail to catch my attention, but it wasn’t the picture that drew my eyes, but rather the words that accompanied. They read “Show me the leader, and i will know the men, show me the men and i will know the leader.”. At first glance it just seems to be another form of army propoganda but if you sit down and actually peel away the military terms and context you will find a universal God ordained law of ‘We are influenced whether we like it or not by the company we keep’.

There are 3 fundamental things that will ultimately shape a persons life.

1. God.
2. Their Family.
3. The Friends they hang out with.

The first two you can’t choose, they’re a given. But it’s the 3rd that can either make or break a person.

“Show me who you place your Faith in, show me the environment you grew up in, show me the company you keep and i will know the type of person you are and where you are heading in life.“

<To be continued>

Have a look at  your friends, how do they make you feel?  What situations do you find yourself in when you’re around them?  After meeting them do you have thoughts of ‘Urgh….maybe that wasn’t such a bright thing to do….hmmm….wish i didn’t say that’ or do you feel uplifted, encouraged, thankful? 

What do you guys talk about?  Does it stop at shallow banter and laughs?  Or are you able to traverse the entire spectrum of being a person, where you are able to be shed tears, be angry or roll around the floor, cheeks aching from laughing too much?

Choose your friends wisely, too often we want to constantly hang around those who make us feel good, make us feel like we belong, make us feel ‘accepted’ but it’s got to go deeper then that.  A friend will be there with you through the laughing and the fun times, but a great friend will also be there for you when you going through the rough times, a great friend will also be the type of person who will willingly sacrifice their time/resources when you’re in need of them.

And those are the people you need to start doing life with the most, i’m not saying we neglect everyone else who doesn’t make the grade, but we all should have some God fearing friends in our lives that we are hanging around with the most.

I don’t know the formula of how to GET this God fearing friends but i do know the hall marks of a great friend that we all should have a few of :-

1. You guys have fought, bickered, raised your voiced at each other and then reconciled.
2. You don’t feel like you can’t cry infront of them.
3. You know if you tell them something in confidence they will keep it in confidence.
4. You are comfortable with correcting behaviour and mindsets with eachother.
5. You know the family members of your friend, your friend doesn’t have to be around for you to engage in conversation with their mum/dad/siblings.
6. Before meeting up you check to make sure you have no other appointments for the next 4 hours.
7. You can call up each other and ask ‘You free?  Shall we do this?’ and the response is ‘Sounds good, meet you in 30′.
8. You can ask that person if there’s a certain questionable part of your behaviour that needs changing knowing that their response won’t leave you feeling guilt, shame or condemned.
9. In 50 years time they can write a biography about you.

There are other hallmarks that i’ll add later but for now we need a few friendships (3-4) that have the above traits in them.  Sure, have as many friends as you want but start building into a handful of them, get yourself an inner circle of like minded people that aren’t just chasing the next relationship, better paying job, next thing to buy but looking out to live their lives for something that will outlast it.  A bunch of people that are willing to live their lives as a ransom for others, able to live for God and yet able to be real with eachother, people that know ‘who’ they are, rather then people who are building ‘what’ they are.

This whole friends business is really too big for me to fully work out at this point in life, but i hope you can chew over what has been said (as will i) and let the heart of it all sink in – that we are designed to be relational and we like it or not are influenced by those we spend time with, so if that’s going to happen then i better make sure that the influence, influences me for the better.

[And for me I can only but thank Him for surrounding me with friends that will walk through life with me through the ups and the downs, those who share the good times with me, those that speak hope and life in the down times, and those that call up to chill with me through the cruising times.]

~ by Andy on June 11, 2007.